HOW TO HAVE HOPE IN THE DARKNESS

We were sitting on the kitchen floor ugly crying, holding each other, rocking back and forth. Surrounded by glitter, shards of glass and splashes of water, the remains of Zoe’s shattered snow globe were the last straw of this terrible day. It felt like the end of the world! Now it’s laughable thinking about it, but it was just one of those days where everything went wrong including two almost road accidents, being way late for an appointment that had to be cancelled in the end, coping with my two kids alone on a sad Sunday, and them playing rough and pulling a curtain rod out of the wall.

It feels as if most of us are sitting on the kitchen floor at the moment, ugly crying, amidst our shattered lives. Our worlds and our world have been turned upside down. How do we get up from the floor? How do we remain optimistic and have hope when everything is going wrong and the future looks so daunting and uncertain?

From research and my own experience, I have found that these 10 life tips can help you get up from the floor, shake off the shattered pieces of your life, become resilient, and rebuild something new:

1. Remember that you are more than your feelings. Do feel what you feel, but remember that you can also decide what you are feeling and for how long you are going to stay in this state. Set a date as limit for mourning life as it was.

2. Be grateful. I know it might seem difficult now, but when you start looking at what you still have (even if its just the fact that you still have hair and teeth), its worth living this way. Write down 5 things that you are grateful for every day and you will start to experience joy and abundance in your heart.

3. Have a plan for every day, even if it’s just to clean out your sock drawer.

4. Take care of your health. This might seem obvious but most people that I talk to at the moment are not doing this, myself included. We are too stressed, do not sleep well, and don’t eat healthy. Back to basics. Make yourself a priority. And if you are able to, connect with nature again.

5. Surround yourself with the right people. Avoid the joy suckers! You have to make sure that as far as you can choose your company, you choose people who celebrate you. You cannot afford to have your mental health suffer any further.

6. Stop complaining! I know that most of us have at least one thing really difficult to cope with at the moment e.g. job loss, relationship difficulties, financial stress and health concerns. BUT talking about it incessantly will only make things worse. If you talk about it, rather rephrase it as challenges that you will overcome. Our words have immense creative power. Realise what you can control and what you cannot and rather do something about the things that you can do something about.

7. Tap into your creativity. I believe that every one of us has some form of creative ability. This is a fantastic way to escape reality for a while. Get lost in painting, writing, making music, in creating something. Even if you suck at it. Just be and enjoy.

8. Organise your life, organise your mind. If you are surrounded by a mess, it is difficult to stay clear headed. If you are stuck at home, do some cleaning out and organising something every day. I feel so proud of myself when I have organised something as my middle name is Procrastination. We have to be ready when opportunity comes knocking and life speeds up again.

9. Help someone with something, even if it’s just a small act of kindness. This is such a powerful way of shifting the focus away from your own problems.

10.Believe in magic. Be open to the idea that even in the most dire circumstances amazing and unexpected things can happen. My hand is placed firmly in His, and I expect and see His miracles every day. Live in a space above the problems and practicalities of this world and you will start to experience life differently.